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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
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If a man does his best, what else is there?
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
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Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
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Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
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The truth is more important than the facts.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 08:11
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